The holidays are upon us once again, and along with that comes the challenge of dealing with it. Many folks have a hard time during the holidays for many different reasons. For me, other than my usual depression which is a never ending battle, it's the passage of time.
Every year my Christmas card list gets a little shorter. Parents are long gone, most aunts and uncles, and a number of favorite cousins. High school classmates are disappearing, and old Navy buddies are no longer there to swap sea stories. It pains me to wonder who may be next.
It's also a reminder that another year has passed and I still haven't reached any of the goals I set for myself. It's been almost a year since I published my first book, and I had planned to publish at least two more this year. Didn't happen. I had hoped to make some extra money on a few side projects so I could afford something nice for all my family this Christmas. Didn't happen.
All this brings me to the question of why do I bother, and the answer is hope. As long as I can get out of bed in the morning, pick up a pen and write something, there is hope. My depression and low self-esteem keep telling me I'll never succeed, but I refuse to believe that. No one can go their entire lives and never accomplish at least one thing positive.
One thing I do know is I would be lost without my critique group and writing partners. They genuinely seem to feel I help them in some way, and they consistently appear to enjoy what I write. Some complain that I write final drafts and leave almost nothing for them to critique. I don't know if that's good or bad, just the way I write. Maybe it saves a little time by not having to write multiple drafts, but when it takes a week to write a thousand words, it feels like I'm not making much progress.
I am making progress though, even if it's slow. I will publish the first book in my epic fantasy next year, and hopefully the second book in the series I started last year.
If anyone is interested, I'll be offering both short stories and the novella for free for five days starting on Dec 19th. Please take a look if you can and let me know what I can do better. I'd hate to think I've just been spitting in the wind.
Thanks for reading.