Wednesday, February 24, 2016

Life of a Caregiver

   Some of you may know that I live with and take care of two disabled women. One is my wife and the other is our long time friend from high school who is terminally ill. Most days both of them can handle the little day to day tasks of caring for themselves and leave the more difficult jobs like cooking meals and taking care of the house to me.
   Our friend suffers from kidney failure and has been on dialysis for many years. If you've seen pictures of the survivors of the Nazi concentration camps, that's the shape her body is in. She is extremely weak and can get hurt or catch a virus very easily. When things are going well, I have a little bit of time everyday to write. Lately, things have not been going well and I'm taking this opportunity to write a little something while sitting in the doctor's waiting room.
   The last two weeks have been especially difficult as she had a kidney cyst rupture at the same time she caught some flu like bug. This means I have to stay close at all times as she is unable to get up, get dressed or go to the bathroom on her own. I also have to make sure she eats the meals I bring to her in bed.
   She has always been a very independent person so being in this situation is very frustrating for her and sometimes that frustration turns into anger. I know the anger isn't directed at me, but sometimes I feel like maybe I'm not doing enough. I don't think either one of them realize how stressful this is for me. I had thought about finding a part-time job to help pay the bills, but now I'm not sure I can leave either of them alone for that long. If I wasn't able to lose myself occasionally while writing fantasy, I don't think I could handle the constant worry that one day I'll wake up and find one or both passed away. I have to say also that if it wasn't for my faith, I would not have made it this long.
   Thanks for reading.

1 comment:

  1. Well, That is a long drink of water right there~I hope this don't send till I am done telling you this, Thank you for stepping up to the plate and being the man you are, there not enough of us.
    I also have driven a cab for 25 years the last 15 years I transported Kidney passengers to and from the kidney centers and home. We also get very attached to them and the family and nurse staff at the rest homes.
    Over the years I also have cried a thousand tears for my clients that have passed away. Family is harder to cope with!
    My wife is 83 I am 73 and she had a heart attack about 90 days ago I am so glad I was home, that night she had 2 stents put in and they cracked her valve open 45% she was 95% plugged the surgery Doctor bless her heart saved her they said do the surgery or we will call hospice. 90 days later after rehab she had a double by pass and a new valve put in, now 90 days have passed more and she is driving the car 2x a week rehab doing he quilting at the church and breakfast out once a week grocery shopping and walking, enjoying her life.
    I on the other hand am her hoseboy and yes I am very sick also and we have been married 39 years coming up very soon.
    I is also extremely very cool that I get to spend . Some more time with her
    I am writing because of a few thing one being I felt your compassion for your family and bestest friend and the illness that you are helping with.
    I know your anger,I know your pain, I know your suffering, and I have felt your tears, a lot
    I also know that my problems can not be solved and that this is the calm before the storm and I am trying my best to prepare for it.
    I also wanted anyone on this site to know that sooner or later we all get sick, very sick and one has to know and understand that we all die, most live a life of the opposite.
    I wanted you Roland to know that love and anger, sickness and good health, life and death get calm thu faith, Love and crying helps that pain.
    I also know that sometimes we need perhaps grief counseling as you know that most people just do not understand what people like you and myself go thru, but I do. My private email is on my website you can reach me anytime and hell just say hi Roland I am Positive you have some neat friends and family to help you but perhaps. maybe like me you do not, or want to tell some people.Lov u guy be safe and to you tonight my tax cab tips advice is sometimes we all need a bit of help or a lot Call the kidney center and just ask for a grief couling number to call, crap nurse's and health care workers use them all the time, now I have a tear Hug your wife
    Good Night Sparky