What I'm Feeling Right Now

   It's hard to put into words what I'm feeling right now, but I'm a writer so I'll try. As some of you may know, if you've been following my blog for a while, writing is difficult for me. It's not the writing itself, since once I sit down with a pen in my hand, words just seem to flow. That is if I can get my phantom editor to go away. It's the battle with my inner self that prevents me from sitting down in the first place.
   Realistically, I've had a fairly successful life, so how do I explain to folks that in my mind I've always felt like a failure. It doesn't make any sense, but depression rarely does. How do you convince yourself to write when your internal voice is constantly telling you it's a waste of time, nobody will like what you write, or you'll fail at this just like you've failed at everything else? Even though I've had a number of people tell me they like my writing, it's still a battle to write every time.
   Two days ago, I took a gigantic step for me and put my first book out there for the world to criticize. It's just a simple fantasy novella that took way too long to write, and honestly, I expected it to flop. I always figure friends and family are lying to me when they say my writing is good so I take their comments with a grain of salt. I have no idea what constitutes a successful book release, but the fact that a number of people actually bought the book, read it overnight and sent me e-mails today saying how much they enjoyed it, has sent my inner demon scurrying for the corner, grumbling.
   The fact that total strangers read and liked my story may have finally broken down the barrier and I may actually begin to believe in myself. This should give me the confidence I need to sit down everyday and write like I want to. In the future, when that old demon tries to come up with more excuses, I can remind him of the sales and comments made by people who enjoyed the story.
   Today, I'll share the blurb I wrote for Amazon and since this is my blog, I don't feel guilty about plugging my story again here. The title is "The Princess and the Apprentice", and her is the link if you're interested. Thanks for reading.


http://www.amazon.com/dp/B019MAQHBE

Aldan arrived at the King’s castle expecting to apprentice to the King’s Mage. Before he is able to recover from the journey, the castle comes under attack and he is forced into the role of Princess Odessa’s protector. Along with two guardsmen, they flee the castle through a secret passage where Aldan is confronted by beings and places he’d only read about.

Plagued by Aldan’s lack of confidence in his abilities, and his confusion over the budding relationship with the Princess, the companions struggle to reach a neighboring kingdom for help. With every confrontation, however, Aldan’s confidence grows, but Odessa is forced to embrace an ancient source of magic that will isolate her forever.

Upon reaching their destination, they discover the kingdom is under attack from an ancient evil only they have the power to counter. Will Aldan’s confidence and Odessa’s rare magic be enough to prevail and guarantee the help they need to return home?

So begins the story of “The Queen of Darkness”.