First, let me update you on my health situation. It’s been several weeks since my last post as I’ve had to undergo a number of tests and doctor appointments. The good news is my lungs are in excellent condition for a 72 yr old who smoked for almost fifty years. Most of the previous tests on my heart indicated no issues, but a little over a week ago, I had a heart stress test. The results of that test showed a definite problem, not with my heart itself, but with the blood vessels around it. It appears I might have another blocked artery or a problem with the bypass from five years ago. I’m scheduled for an angiogram in a couple weeks, which can’t come soon enough. Both me and my cardiologist wished it was sooner as it’s getting harder and harder to breathe. The problem is it can be a seven procedure and the hospital can only schedule several of them a day. We’re hoping it will require nothing more than a stint, but another surgery is also possible. I do not want to go through that again, but what choice will I have?
Alright, on to this week’s topic: stage direction. This question came up in one of our last critique group discussions. What is it? Stage direction is when the author describes in detail every move a character makes while performing a common task. For example; “John stepped up to the curb, looked to the left and then to the right before stepping down onto the street. Carefully, he crossed the street, stepped up to the sidewalk and turned to his right to face the store he wanted. He approached the door, grasped the door knob in his right hand and turned it to the right to open the door. Once inside, he carefully closed the door and turned to face the store owner.”
Now with less stage direction and more description; “John lifted the collar of his jacket as high as it would go and hurried across the street. The promise of warmth in his father’s shop didn’t stop him from carefully negotiating the frozen ruts in the street. Once inside, he greeted his father with a smile.”
I know this isn’t perfect, but I hope you get the idea. We all know how to cross a street and don’t need it spelled out to us. It does help if we know why he crossed the street.
During one of our critiques, several folks had a problem with the author writing how his character turned to talk to his partner. They felt it wasn’t necessary as people normally turn to face the one they are talking to, we don’t need to be told. I disagree.
So much depends on the scene and what the characters are facing. If the main character feels threatened, they will not turn away from watching out the window or door to talk to someone. If, however, they feel safe, they will turn away and face the person they’re talking to. This tells me a lot about how the character is feeling without actually telling me. A person lying on the floor in pain will not automatically turn to the person they are talking to. Whether or not they turn to the person tells me a lot about how they are feeling.
A certain amount of stage direction is helpful during a scene with a lot of dialogue. This prevents what I call, “talking heads”. All the reader sees in their mind while reading is a pair of heads talking to each other. Have the characters move.
Most aspects of writing are governed not by rules so much as guidelines. If you like to follow rules, always be consistent, and keep things to a minimum. I write in a way that makes sense to me and matches what I like to read. Some will like it also, while others will not. Such is life.
Thanks for reading.
A short scene from one of my stories. Enjoy.
“Worried I be, little one. What we do if guard not letting me see King? I only one ogre be, humans are many.”
Emma ignored the ‘little one’ for now, knowing how upset he was. Sebastian had never experienced this kind of prejudice before. “I’m worried too, but we’ll do what we’ve always done and find a way to complete our mission. Now quit slouching, you’re an ogre and a good one, even if you are hairy and ugly.”
The ogre sat up straight and smiled down at her. “Thank you, Emma. It is even more important now for me to talk right. Tell me more of these humans.”
The sun shot up in to the morning sky, and soon hung directly over their heads. They had separated on uncertain terms years before, and took this opportunity to renew their friendship. An inn appeared strategically located halfway between the Capitol and Brighton Ferry. Seeing the look of apprehension on Sebastian’s face, Emma grabbed his arm.
“C’mon, let’s stop for a bite to eat. The more we learn about how people feel, the better prepared we will be once we reach the Capitol.”
With a sigh, he guided the team into a field next to the inn where other wagons sat awaiting their owners. At the front door, Sebastian reached out to push it open, motioning for Emma to enter and quipped. “Age before beauty.”
She stuck out her tongue, kicked him in the shin and then hobbled inside followed closely by the chuckling ogre.
A look of surprise crossed the faces of the patrons as the two entered, but no fear. The innkeeper rushed forward while wiping his hands on his apron. “By the Eyes, it has been too long! I’m honored, friend ogre. Be welcome in my establishment.”
His hand engulfed by the ogre’s, he turned to Emma. “You are also welcome, young woman. Are you here to speak for the ogre?”
“The hairy oaf can speak for himself. I’m here because I’m hungry.”
